There’s no shortage of tips out there for instructors that are aimed at improving giving feedback . But there is not a lot for us to go on for how to receive performance feedback. Most of what is out there is about ego problems as if all we have to do is sit there and listen as if the instructor is preaching the gospel to us.

As if they’re always right.

As if we aren’t allowed to have an opinion. Lest we be labeled as having an “ego problem.”

Having said that, a real pro seeks opportunities to elicit expert feedback from, well, an expert in the field. They should be pressure testing your thought processes and mental models to find the holes and find ways to get better. They should be pointing out real error and providing actionable tips to correcting them.

More often than not, all we get is: “good job.”

There are a couple of observations that I’ve made over time as it comes to feedback after a training event that dictate how closely I pay attention to or internalize that feedback.

1.) The training event itself is a reflection of the instructor and their level of prep. If the event is trash, I have little doubt that the debrief will be as well. I don’t hold my breath for meaningful or useful feedback. If they did not set up a meaningful training event/evolution, they did not prep meaningful feedback notes.

2.) Most of the time the feedback from a training event is the verbalization of a “grade” in comparison to some arbitrarily identified outcome. Which is useless to a developed operator. It is rare that you get performance oriented feedback that unpacks and challenges your conceptualizations and mental models and how they are to execute in a given situation. Usually you just find a memorization gap and find out you forgot something in a protocol. Which has little to do with your performance.

3.) Not every instructor is an expert. Sometimes they’re merely a colleague (experienced or not) that some manger ordained as an “educator/instructor.” The qualifying characteristic for them was that the boss “liked” them. In this situation they often have no formal training on how to do execute training correctly. Perhaps they sat through a series of online lectures as a surrogate to that training, which we can agree is woefully inadequate in most cases. More often than not they will double down on their years of experience as their foundation for being there and being right… with the protocol or guideline as their bible.

The first clue that this is the case is when you hear the “shit sandwich” method for giving feedback, which should have died a decade ago, but still raises its head on occasion.

Tips

1.) Internalize it Properly

• If what the evaluator says is useful, apply it, but don’t internalize their appraisal of the performance. These are phrases like “good job, bad job” “ you did awesome.” That is not helpful. You are here to find ways to get better, not get validated. Internalize the points of improvement and train on them. Get more reps in that day to train out the error or mistake. NEVER LEAVE ON AN L…
• Don’t internalize the emotions. If the evolution stressed you out and you fell apart, good… you learned something about yourself and found out that you have some work to do.
• Be careful what you internalize. “XYZ could be better…” is not “you’re an epic piece of shit.” If there’s an actionable fix, fix it. Don’t attach your identity to needing to fix something (or not). You train to get better, which necessitates that there is a weakness in your game somewhere that MUST be exposed…hopefully in training. Train until you find it.

2.) Defend Yourself Properly

• If the evaluator is truly wrong or is missing something, speak up. Cite the source of disagreement and your understanding/conceptualization of it. Instructors are not, and will never be above being mistaken.
• Ask for clarification. Provide your frame of reference and the friction point. You’re digging to understand their perspective, not challenging them outright. This puts you two on the same page and provides a mutual understanding from which you can debrief more effectively.
• There’s a difference between being defensive (not good) and providing context to thought processes/actions. Choose the latter when necessary. You have to dig down and find whether or not there is simply a difference of opinion or if you committed a factual error in training.

3.) Check that Ego.

• If they’re right, they’re right. They may not even be offering the feedback correctly, but it doesn’t mean they’re wrong just because they’re being an asshole, new, or using passive language. Is it insulting to a professional to have to deal with that? Yes. But it doesn’t negate that they found a hole in your game.
• You’re bruised ego will ruin your chances of improving your performance if you do not check it. Yes it hurts and you may be a little embarrassed about the mistake, but get over it. A life is on the other end of the lessons you’re supposed to learn from training. A life depends on you fixing the issue. So fix it. It’s not always about you.

Close Out

It is not a ego problem to ensure that the feedback you receive is expert level. The instructor can be flawed and can be incorrect. It does not get you off the hook for being a pro. This is about balancing your egotistical desire to be right with accepting that you may not be. You may have a hole in your game. A life will depend on whether or not you fix it.